This hilarious parody mash-up will delight readers of both the bestselling Fifty Shades of Grey and Austen's Pride and Prejudice.
Lizzy Bennet had been brought up to be a proper lady - with perfect manners, skilled in conversation and well respected in the community. But when Mr Elliot Bingley comes to court Lizzy's sister, she is given the opportunity to learn a somewhat different skill set upon her introduction to his friend, a Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy. It only takes one chance meeting with this tall, dark stranger for Lizzy to be lured into Darcy's secret world of lascivious practices and lusty urges. Drawn like a moth to his flame, Lizzy is the mistress of her own undoing, for Darcy has made no protestations of love; indeed, his intentions were made plain - and legally binding - from the outset. But even the most innocent and well brought-up of young ladies have urges, and as Lizzy learns that a riding crop isn't just used for going for a canter on her pony, a whole new world is revealed to her. Includes epistles between Lizzy and Darcy carried by loyal retainers Laptopp and Mrs Blackberry, well-fitting flannel breeches, Charlie Tango the hot air balloon, the dashing Mr Whackem, an infinite number of ways to describe sexy eyes and plenty of how's your father. Why is Mr Darcy buying supplies at the haberdashers? Could his interest in grosgrain ribbon, horsehair braid and curtain rods with substantial decorative finials be entirely innocent? (No, reader, it cannot.) Can Lizzy introduce Darcy to the genteel pursuits that will salve his damaged soul: decoupage, shell collecting, lacework, needlepoint and harpsichord recitals?
This postmodern parody is sure to have all nicely brought up young ladies guffawing into their fans.